I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
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