yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
