Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
