Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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