When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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