Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
