woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Your penis caused this!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
