I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
People in love make me want to vomit
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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