I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
