Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
me + whiskey = a bad person
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
