How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
