can u get pink eye on your cock?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize