bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
last night I used snow as a chaser
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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