After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
