I heard we made out
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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