Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
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are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
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I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize