I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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