I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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