East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
True but thats because hes a fetus.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
