The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
