I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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