and next time when you feel me up, do it right
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
