Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
