Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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