We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize