remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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