just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Say something about gay babies.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
