My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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