Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
