Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
