Who wears a wallet chain?!
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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