I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
