I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
