Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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