So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
