hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Randomize
