someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
