It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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