remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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