i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
