There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
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