we were pretty classy up until the second keg
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
