dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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