Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
