so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
how can u be prego again
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
