You just made me feel so damn special
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
