so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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