Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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