come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
