No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
