Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
