I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize