You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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