well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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