that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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