the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize