And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
