I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
