you guys were way drunker than both of me
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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