Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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