You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
