i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
