Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
this will be a night to untag.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
