what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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