I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
